I was prompted to write this post based on my observation that most clients who present with a sexual dysfunction or experience performance anxiety because they are overly focused on the mechanics of sex have lost touch with their ability to experience eroticism. Put it another way, a common cause of loss of physical arousal in people is the loss of erotic focus. Erotic focus means being fully mindful of the sexy, arousing thoughts and sensations during masturbation or sex with another. So what exactly is eroticism? It is a concept that is actually quite hard to define as I soon discovered after trawling through the internet for a definition.
Psychology of Sex -- Sensuality & Eroticism 2
Sex, Sexuality, Eroticism - Literal Magazine
After years in the couples therapy trenches, I no longer see sexuality as a metaphor of the relationship—I see it as a parallel narrative. Couples today are confronting a new frontier in the basic understanding of what marriage is all about. For most of Western history, we married and then had sex for the first time. Now, we marry and stop having sex with others. This shift has fundamentally changed the meaning of exclusiveness.
Sex, Sexuality, Eroticism
From the editorial meeting emerged the topic: writing an essay on sex. I took up the gauntlet, accepted the challenge. I sit down, then, to write an essay on sex. But it does not come out. It does not come out because though it is indeed obvious what topic was entrusted to me or I chose or accepted, sex is not the right word.
We focused last week on the difference between sensuality and eroticism, as well as a healthy place for each. Now we turn to the psychology of sex to explore how this healthy sensuality and eroticism can be encouraged or can go awry. Psychological exploration, especially throughout the last hundred years since Freud, has increasingly demonstrated the importance of early familial relationships to the health of later relationships.